just so.

realised that I don't have alot of people around me who i'd acknowledge as a friend. of course, i could have but i realised i just dont.

there has always been a border line between me and the people i know.those who have been able to wash away that border line, only sum up to no more than my 10 fingers.

it's not because they were paticularly nice.it was because I allowed them to.in fact, i had alot of other people around me who treat me so much better than the people whom "allowed" into my "circle".

they were so nice that i knew they'd almost do anything i asked for but although i AM thankful, I never let them surpass that "line". I have no idea why.These people who treat me so well I don't think there'd be anyone else who'd treat me better than others could, tried really hard to make me feel at ease to be around them but I still push them further. away. and away.

They know me so well to the extend that I feel sorry for not even knowing where they stay or when exactly is their birthday.

They know which restaurant not to bring me to, how exactly will I react to certain things, my opinions, and even my feelings just by looking at me.And I am never thankful enough to give something in return.I wonder why.

What's most funny is, these people who I "allow" to walk into my life, majority of them are people who don't know me at all.I am the one trying to run after them, learn about their characters, likes and dislikes, and sometimes struggle to lift their spirits a notch higher when they seem down.

Conversations are always about the opposite party but I really never do mind because I want to learn about them.But they don't know no nothing about me.They think I'm happy when I smile.

They think I'm upset when I stare at them.They take everything as what is painted on my face -- expressions and actions.These people, are special people whom you don't get to meet everyday in the streets.

These people, are ones who make my day so much happier even if the conversation's about anything as simple as a pencil.These people...are the ones who ALWAYS choose to walk away.I still don't know why I let them into my circle when there are so many others who are willing to do so much for me.Why choose to struggle when you can become a princess?It's simple.That's life.

[[grabbed from natalieChai.well.she wrote it of course.but ii felt dd whole thing's exactly true.indeed.it pokes right into me.lolx.X]