wwhat do u see? wwhat do u care? i'll stand by myself, one day.

yeah. for once. i'm gonna be honest with myself.
i'm frustrated. i'm fucked up.
i'm scared.
nowhere to go,
no one to turn to.
no one that actually understands.
falling back.
into total nothingness.
no. not even air.
my heart skipped a beat.
i hurt the ones i love.
i love the one that hurts me.
nobody told you life was fair.
indeed.
but at diz point, who cares?
its your own fault.
they would scorn. they would say.
attention seeker. go to hell.
i dont desire.
it was the yielding temptation.
tell me bullshit. spit me. spank me.
what can i really do?
i shamed you. yes.
thats all you care.
so long.
still.
empty.

14thjuly2009.

holodays are near
plans plans!
as if. ):
i've only got studying n working plans.
right yeeyin? :P
cant wait. after the exams rush and everything. the total hectic.
birthday's nearing. nOthing special diz year. (:
my sweet 15. *aih*
i realised i've learned alot and grown so much accordingly.
i learn to shut my mouth. *like seriously*
i talk so much when i'm not supposed to utter a word.
i got 75% for english. was very dissapointing cuz wongkainee got 85%, highgest in d class.
i'll work harder. (:
something tht bugs me's my own childlike attitude previously.
like if i worked hard for something and failed,of course u feel fed up right? and when someone else knocks u down again..saying you didnt work hard and were just playing around.saying the things that werent true,like, u get me?u tried hard but u didnt get it and u were already very dissapointed with urself and there comes the tiger biting down ur neck.
it hurts. really.
and what most people are likely to do is..
''HAIYA!! give up better. i do good, i do bad, same results. i study, i dont, same results."
proof those who bite u wrong. show them u actually can. u do bad this time,even though u tried, try harder next time.find out where u went wrong. correct ur mistakes ur errors.
nobody is perfect. (:
we live. with errors and mistakes. we correct em' we proof them wrong. not right.
its w win lose thing.
proofing them right is giving up on urself. and that should be the last thing on ur mind.
so as i've learned. *after so mny years omg*
will be going to d MU match diz saturday. (:
kkinda excited but.
i know i'll see nothing cz there'll be so damn many people. *sighs*
just for the sake for BEING THERE. lol
jiatongg si jiatong!

updates. (:

i gOt number 9 in class

omg omg omg omg.

and i failed 2 subjects wtff. =X

percentage is like only 51.1%

am very dissapointed with myself.

my vow. my promises. as of 6.30pm. 14th July 2009.
i hereby clarify that, me, jiatong.(pfft) will agree and abide to the following terms.
-study at least 2hours a day. everyday.
- concentration in class has to be 100%.
- i will not waste time.
- i will abide to the timetable. *likewise*
- i will be like WongKaiNee. (oookayy. O.U.T)

- i will complete all my homeworks. nicely.
- i will ask when i dont understand.
- i will go for extra classes.
- i will not go out every saturday.
- i will actually. well. stay in and study. omfg.
- i will always ask for help in studies. ):
- i will not dissapoint my parents.
- i will improve my overall percentage to 70%.
- i will put effort in ICT,Art, as well as moral studies, even though they're not core sub.
- i will shut my mouth during lesson time. pfft.
- i will really learn to do accounting.
- i will study more of history.
- once again, i will not waste time. especially on d computer.
- i will only facebook and blog once a week. *oh my*

and yess, thats all i could bear.
till then. (:

updates.updates. (:

okay.no double eyelids. ): the typical asian. (:

so as i've heard,a smile covers up a thousand tears.

our ice-cream fondue. (:

shoelaces that got me into trouble a couple of times. ;D

Tareh yeyO. found diz on my comp. have no idea where i got it. @.@

u smoke.i cut. what's ur deal? fair.aint it? i cut to refresh u smoke to refesh.i dont get sick cutting u get cancer smoking. oh yeah babe.

the typical lalat. :P

Fadli. (: the mrAfro.

orchids. (:

life as it is.

realised i hadnt been blogging for a oh so long time.
life is good and there's really nothing much into it and i've just had d finals exam and oh.
dont ask.
i just did so badly i had to cry almost every night.
studywise, i'm failing. (:
i love my history paper. dont know why.
not much events had happened since.
recalling the funny moments aint not difficult.
i love school. (:
i hate the teachers. >=(
evil chickenS. seriously. they're like,they' just HAVE to be there to make our life miserable.
i got called 'silly' twice diz week. wtf. :P by different teachers. oh yeah.
i realised i've changed so much since.. since.. oh i dont know when.
frustrated easily over lil' things and keeping quiet when there's something BIG thats bothering me.
oh yeah, once again. life's good. fulfulling it, savouring it, enduring it.
time passes so quickly i have yet to realise i'll be in form fOur nx month.
form fOur babe.!
the last time i was opening my eyes i was in form 2. and now,with a blink of an eye,tongtong will be in formfOur. lol wth.
there's so much i've yet to catch up.
music is still the life. i wonder how i'd still be living if its not for music.
while i was doing some cleaning up in my room last night, i came through a diary of mine in primary 4.
i'd thought i've lost it years ago. never knew i'd find it anymore.
but here it is. miracles do happen. (: