beijing 2010.

beijing 2010.

31st dec. 2010.

every lil' thing's not the same anymoree. shud i be glad or whaat? :)
diz feels so surreal.

december hols ?

you're worth diz much.

yesh diz is a more private blog and i love reading reading rather than tumblr. where people '' follow '' youu. hols hasnt been that awesome. especially today. totally fucked up. really. like, literally.

i love small kids.

but i hate annoying small kids.

they think they're small so they can do whatever shit they want? Like, SO WHAT?
i knew how to behave myself when i was a kid.

and things has gone really badd between me n kev. i had expected diz to happen but hadnt thought it wud end bad. Life's so not awesome right now , feel like breaking down and cryyy. -_- gahh. tears tears tears. imma lyla problem magnet now. the thing with kev, i know he wud be totally different next year, wut with staying out and .. ya know. so i thought, better to end it now rather than hold it on longer yeah? but it ended badd. really bad. but anyways. like they say, its now or never.

peer pressure. they never leave youu, do they? you want to seem perfect, look perfect, be perfect.

I M P O S S I B L E

and i thought i've became immune. pfft. so much for that.

yesterday, today, and tomorow.

hola :)

diz's gonna be an angry post :X i know i dont usually do it but some people just tend to.... gahh idkk :S

kayys. so. anyways.

you're so full of urself u dont even notice , ur so damn fake i think ur made in china? you're so damn fcking bitchy and u act like ur a friend, but ur NOT, stop acting innocent its making me puke. i hate youuu so much i wish ur better off dead . why did u even have to exist?

and YOU.

i think ur REALLY the wrong person. wrong. wrong. wrong. so wrong. i've no idea WHY i cant get you off my mind and it sucks, things being that way.

guess there's not much trust between us.
thanks for the way u've judged me. what do u really know?
ur own philosophy just made u feel good but i hate stories being made up.
it's not like what you think.
fuck it. thanks for spoiling it, again.

theOctober.

nothing's quite rigght. this week' has been a total hectic. everything's just wrong and i need someone to talk to. sound so despo right now D:
what happens when the world come tumbling down on you?
what if nothing's right?
peer pressure family probs i wish i cud turn away from all and head to a rogue of my own.
YES i loook at the bright side of things. but what happens when even the bright side looked dark? diz's my first time posting *attention seeking* post , so yeah, it suck. lol.seriously. o_O
some terrible shyt happened last nite and i just cant think straight.
everyone and everything is changing so fast.
i dont think imma catching up at all, studies-wise and school's just getting sarkish.
idk why imma complaining so much either, wont i just shut up n suck it up already?
dont think imma strong enuf diz time ;O
life is too much of a rollercoaster/roundabout.
i think i 'think' too much. like, irrelevant and unecessary stuff.
i manipulate myself too much its darn annoying and i dont even say the right things noow.
everything i do i'd regret it 2minutes later.
life is suckish right now like that. D:
imma not thinking straigght.
SOS.

i swear he is so.fucking annoying.

D:

bees. found 3 of it on my bed this morning :D
one dead.
rise and shine !
reminds me of the Gerald Butler's poem ;)

made in disneyland, with love :)

mad love these ! was like, 1000Yen, rm35 each :D
mommy got one for me :)

waited for 3hours to get in D:

mickey's pop icicles ! <3

that much. took like a thousand piictures,

i love tokyo :)

dad, oh dad.

i think dad 's allergic to seeing me having my free time.
like how its NOT ok to go online, how its NOT ok to stare into space . how its NOT ok to read novels instead of textbooks.
and i hate it how everyday the only thing he asks me is '' bowed to the altar dy ? ''.
for heaven's sake. i'm NOT a buddhist. and i'm making it CLEAR.
yes, i respect u having ur own religion and tht u've to bow to the altar everyday ( for, i really dont know what reasons ) . but u cant FORCE me to do it rigght?
ok fine. i'm still young, cant make my own choice yet, am still under ur control. but omg :(
whyyyy does THAT have to be the only thing u ask EVERYDAY?
i thinnk normal dads would go , '' hey, how was school today? ''. Common.
'' bowed to the altar today ?? '' , ''No.'' , '' WHY DO U NEED ME TO REMIND YOU ?!!! ''
:''(
and the best thing was, on my birthday, u n mum are discussing bout ''filing for a divorce''.
on the morning of my birthday. Thankyou very much. U guys really made my day.
sometimes, u can really be the best dad in the world, like how u bring us to waterfalls every consequent sundays, how u would sit down n watch videos with us, how u would get me books everytime u go overseas :)
other times, it really gets on my nerve . like how u wud get cross for no reason. =S

continued : 1st day in tokyo :D Ueno Zoo, Ameyako Street.

the monkey looks real sad. seriously. pfft.

Doraemon ! pfft ftw :D

sakura flowers :) there were very lil' left when we went. i heard they make ppl itch ! beau thou ! momm, and the things we bought . ._.

outside diz fish flakes shop at Ameyako. forgot what its called, u put it in miso soups and it taste real good ! gotta carve it thou. tht carver itself is around RM170, and the fish's lke RM70. can use for 5years ok ! the fish can never finish wan :D

this shoe doesnt lie. =p

sotong Paul :P diz thing's mad fresh u could bite it like chewing gum !

crabss :).

outside d restaurant.

first meal ! those are all raw and the potion's so damn big neither mum nor i could finish it D:

costed bout RM24 . :)

see the eggs ! used to love it so much when i was in m'sia. got scared of eating it in japan. too much D: could never get things like tht in KL's jap restaurants. *.*

diz's in Ameyako, went down the station Ueno (train). diz's d place where things are mostly affordable, this's where u can find second hand stuffs: clothes , bags, watches, shoes. and they all look really new cuz japanese are such spendrift tht they change attire every season ! (: loadsa students hanging out :) its like KL's petaling street place :D

japanese sandals (: costed more than 1000Yen :( thts like RM40 .

see how most men are clad in suit? diz's their working attire and everyone wears it. the train was packed with working men like these. over there its called ''salary men''. seee even middle working class people pakai so high class suit ! :P

diz's in the Ueno Park :) they were homeless people hanging out and it was colddd. love the weather tho. from here, u can walk all the way to Ueno Zoo. they used to have a panda called LingLing ! but apparently , it died. :S very worth it to visit the zoo (: 100times better than KL's. seriously D: their monkeys are like black and white color with super long tails. ! damn yeng.

the LRT station :)

1st day in Tokyo ! (:

this, is Veda San, we stayed in his house for 3days ;p fetched us from the airport and mum couldnt recognize him cuz its 10years back since they last met. Veda San n' his family're so nice ! best hosts everr. (:

prepared by the wife, Yumiko San (: feels like home already ! first thought when i got down the plane was, '' i'm in love . '' <33

the balcony view from our room.

prepared by Yumiko san ! cheese + scrambled egg.= yummms!

baked cinnamon rolls, they taste like heaven i tell u ! panas summor :D

this's really brief , my apologies :) photos uploading probs !

waayyy too random . (:

looking back, i was such a naive little girl with really wild thoughts. (: *gasp*

i'm sorry i got mad at u (:
thoughts of u would never be the same again.hurts my tiny heart to think of that ! lol (:
u made getting over you easier than ever. thanks (: but i really dont need that.

things changes over time and we sure gotta chase afta it ! (:

its reaaaaly been nice being such good friends with u but always, i've always felt something really important missing

but thinking twice, sooner or later, it has to happen right ! (:

ithinkistillloveyoualot.

thats one of the things that never changed (:

getting on,running afta time (:

getting on ! (:

i hate getting to know you.
i regret being with you.
it sucks to even look at you.
every part of me feels like shaking you, asking you to wake up.
where is the YOU i knew?
if i could turn back time right now,
i would wish that both of us never knew each other
i dont even wanna know you

cause the memories shared were too much to bear now
bringing it along sucks.
how i wish i could throw it back to you.

the circle.

there's this tiny circle that encloses around me,
i used to think that ''that's just my place'' . the circle, i mean.
something that revolves around me.
yeah sure, i do let people into my round of circle.
think of it as a plant cell.
i wud be the sap vacuole, the center of the circle,
there's the cell wall,my friends are standing on it. (:
there's the cell membrane , thats where the close friends are.
then there's the nucleus,which controls every motion around the circle. - thats my family.
next. there's diz endoplasmic reticulum. where in my figure, there's only one.- thats the boyfriend.
think of it this way, we become what we get most influenced in. when ur young, ur parents control everything, when the plant cell respires and gets large enough, it bursts. and im outta the circle. thats when i go around the world, seeing things, not needing any protection, the people around ur little circle doesnt really matter anymore.
you meet new ones.
while ur still in d circle, were u desperate to get out?
when u stand on a beach, we kids use take diz tree branches and draw a circle around us.
would u easily allow people in ur round of circle?

a little here and there - Prom.

i dont look good in diz piic, but the one next to me certainly does ! Shandel. (:

Nad, tongg, airi . :)

Nadya, JoeVee, Shandel , tongtong

the smoking hot Safa ! :)

buubii :P

got a new Angora rabbit ! (: named him ''buubii''.
does that remind u of ''booby'' ? :O

loves to eat greeens

looking for foood