an unexpected phonecall.

while talking to Mac jz nOw. the phone kept beeping and was all thinking.'wth? how could twO ppl call me at the exact same time?''

yaakub.
ohh yess.
forgot when we met. but it was during a sports tournament. (:
he had the baby cheeks tht no 16year old wud have. and tht cheeky smile tht nobody in the world has. (:
(the last time i saw diz smile on someone was some guy in d bakery.and kai sometimes smile like tht.)
but yaakub? all the time. ii'm serious bout diz. (=
lolx.
so yeah. well. we used to talk almost everyday after the tournament but one day he stopped calling.
and the last thing he asked was asking me to McD's. but i declined. pfts.
and he never called. again. [:

until today.
woohooo!:D

``tongtong was here.
heartx u to pieces kvNn. =x

i didn't know.

i had never realise how priceless these people were. how they were alywas there. and ''alywas'' means eternity.i've merely thought they were just friends.ur typical primary school friends ur so close to we share every moment 2gather. (except mac. i knew him since kindy).i've never thought there were the ones i could actually depend on so much. they all know me inside out. one for all. all for one.

and now i realise.

finally.

we're supposed to come to my hse and den go midvalley. watch movie. play bowling. icecream. it was all well planned.taris.kelvin.kevin.fooksoon.andrew.thiv.daniel. (daniel went straight to midvalley.)
it was planned tht i wud only inform dad tht ii'm going out on the day itself.but the xiao meimei at home went''eh.jie.i going midvalley with u n ur friends 2moro. but i'll hang out with my own friend there la..''. during dinner the night before. infront of everyone. dad. aunt. cousins.grandma. i almost chocked. mum's face went.''wth''.and so dad looked at me and went..''who let u go midvalley?''.
persuaded him failingly for seven times. [:
and so i thought he wud probably change his mind the next day. all of em' arrived at 11.30am.and i still couldnt go out.
was persuading them to go by themselves without me. daniel's waiting for us in midavelly. alone.
they were all like.''no way. we wont go without you.'' ''but u'guys wouldnt want to stay at diz hse right?!'' ''can oso la. nevermind.''
had a row with mum.fucktard. infront of everyone. i've never felt so humiliated all these years. she's playing nice.not tht ii hate her. no. well.whatever actually.
so she ordered pizzas and we spent the rest of d day ktv-ing and watching movies. in my house. wtf.
they'd rather stay here. watch Mr&Mrs.Smith.in diz dark lit room.eating take-away BaskinRobbins.delivered Domino's.
than
watching d latest show shown in d cinema.Midvalley.gO bowling. 've McD's.with BaskinRobbins iceCream fondue in TheGardens.

priceless people u could never find in any part of the world.
i'm hereby here to clarify tht.
i've never realise diz. u people mean so much to me.i'm here to confess tht. Mac.Thiv.Tari. i deleted my number from ur cell when u guys were watching mOvie. (and which i fell asleep during d whole movie and oni woke up when Mr&Mrs.Smith had sex. wth)
i was thinking.at tht time.tht i was just.so embarassed to face u guys again. afta diz.how wud u all look at me? lol.i was just thinking tht after thiz i wud jz dissapear.not having these ppl infront of me be in my life anymore.
and so i went up to shower and lock myself in d room listening to jaychou when u guys were downstairs waiting for me to come dOwn. wtf ryte. i know. i'm sorry.
eventually.i felt bad.guilty.for leaving dem.and txted Taris(she've green braces now omg!) and asked her to come up. (: and within one minute. there was a knock on my doOr.
and there. we talked for hours. time passses by without even us realising. until bout 4:40pm. when they all had to go bck. told her everything.yeah. and she was telling me when i went outt d hse with andrew and kelvin just now. the others were scared. yeah. we all know why only.andrew and kelvin dared come out with me. its okae with dem.and why sO?family prObs. to summarise it. lOlx.they've never. yes. i mean. NEVER. had a family.
i feel sad for them. and so because of tht mum got so mad at both of em' she aked Michael to fetch both of em' home.(they went MidValley)short after tht with daniel. (:
and when i left, mum asked thiv..if his mum wont allow him out. wht wud he dO? he replied saying.''fight with her la.but..in the end kenot go out oso la..'' was laughing so hard when i heard diz. xP they were oways there for me.=x
they never left my side. wtf. but i felt so betrayed when they were nice to my mum when my mum is so against me.
its for ur own good.
yeah ryte. blekk. :P
one for all. all for one. (: thts wht taris told me then. we would never abandon you. so never even think of doing tht to us.! it was like a come-clean session with her. xD lolx.

and so. ii was expecting mac and everyone to get pissed at me and not talk to me anymore. but right after tht. i got diz txt from taris.''tong tanks for a wonderful day. it didnt work out as planned but it was sure great.cause i got to see you. and share something tht was in me for a long time.love ya babe, till forever ends.'' (= i never expected this. and the very nx day. mac asked me out on monday for a gathering thing in our primary school. (: called twice but i was sleeping.

sorry la dei. =s
where in the world are there ppl like them?most ppl i know are spelt f.a.k.e. who wud stay with u at home rather than go midvalley's.?

iloveyou peeps. to d cOre.

``tongtong was here.
mwakks.

11.23pm.

it's impossible to understandwhat's going through a guy's heart

you told me that you wanted me

and now that I've given you everything,

you tell me you're leaving,

you told me that it was the first time you felt this way

and said I was special,

I believed you

and it was my happiness

you should have told me that your feelings had faded

I had no idea,

andI continued to depend on you,

although I say I hate you now,

I'll be missing you

because I'm a girl,

to whom love is everything

they say that when you give a guy all he wants,

he quickly gets bored,

and now I know the truth,

and although I tell myself,

I'll never be tricked by love again,

I fall in love,a

nd my heart is broken again,

You should have told me that your feelings had faded,

*got this from someone else's blogg. find it amusing okaee. =x blehhs.!*

``tongtong was here. ;P

.hearts uu loads.<3.

something.really short. (:

relationships are like glass
sometimes it's better to leave them broken
than try to hurt yourself putting it back together

things that we don't want to happen but have to accept,
things we don't want to know but have to learn,
and people we can't live without but have to let go

tongtong was here``!=)

12.06am.

noticed i've been over blogging for the past few days.
i just. somehow feel the nid to express. ;D
my heart's beating twice in a second for d whole day. n i couldnt figure out why.
bollocks.
am off to perak 2moro. (:
i somehow love school holidays.

jiiatong was crapping.``.
=P

naughty. nice.

insanity.

ii'm loving myself to bits. so please. dont give me no more heartbreaks.

ii'll be myself again. (:

looking forward to diz friday. seeing them people again.
its been awhile aint it? (:

tongtong was here. ``

january18th.

yessh.

guess wwht?

most of us dont know diz.

low

low

low

low

low

loww

omgg

its jaychou's 30th bday!

happy burfday buhbiee.

=)

<3.hearts u to pieces. :P bliekk.

its a miracle tht he relates to me all d time.

how he sang.the words.how he gets the feeling outta me.

how he understands.

whenever ii'm at my worst feeling immune u speak everything.

lOlx. cOrny sia. wtf. xP

nyways. jaychou wanted a lamborghinni as a birthday present from himself.

but dear lil' mummy wont lett.

Ouch.

tongtong was here.``.

hearts u.

10.00pm. to be exact.

things are not right. so pls stop telling me it is.

iloveyou.
but do yOu?.

school's overall fine.
there's something. well. really personal. ):
but ii seriously got upset over it.
i cant believe ur doing it. good thing if ur reading this. not much ppl know diz,yeah. ii know its a secret sooo private and confidential. i know ur hurting. but wtf. wht ur doing's never the resolution hao bu hao.go work money for wht de? buy tht ah?u know ur not alone. so why dO? nice maH? happy mah? enjoy mahx? relief mah? diao u. not tht ii angry u lorhx hou mou. but.. u used to be my pillar of support when i break down. (sounding corny i know. but puh lease. mine me.) uu used to be someone i trust. u knw how much it breaks me down knowing wht ur doing now? just leh. just wanna tell u tht. ): ni rang wo hen shi wang. (= u can let it out. ii'll be there for u oways. as a friend aite.but heck. not on tht mah. we're ur friends. lol. wth. so geli xP haha..nyways.
shenhao. stop it already. [:
____________________________________________________________________________________
22nd january.
went training today. 1st time diz year :D was really fun overall. (: saw ssg's. if felt so weird being with dem now.
well nyways. talked with joshua dey all lorhx. alina joshua belanjed miie drinks. wth. xP
we were warming down and suddenly jingyee said. '' possible ma if u guys go bck at 6:30?''
us: y leh?''
jingyee: got lengzaii see. =P
us: haaa.

when we were jogging there were these guys frm st.Gabriel. dey went like..''heyy.amoii. amoii!!'' usual stuffs. so jingyee said hii to dem. and we were all like..''he calling u ah..'' ''no leh.he calling u.'' ''no worh. he calling u worh. ii duno him oso.'' ''hah. ii oso duno him leh.'' ''den why u say hi to him?'' ''cz i thought u know him de mah.''
wtff.=.=
____________________________________________________________________________________
being diao by mum righttt now. fcking boh song ohkayy. =P she pointing pointing arhx. trust. fuck. not tht i hate u okae. ur making me hate u. i dont hate anyone. she's so near. scared she diao me kaokao on d face. if not ady diao her bck la now. bising dOu!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
anyways. ii feeling high now. (:

gahh. latest obssession.

oMg.

OMG.

yess. omggg.

ANNOUNCEMENT.

ii played with Leo's iPod Touch jz now n fell in love with it!! but too bad. cant be used to call or txt.

but.

iPhone can arhx.i've alywas wondered why some ppl are obssessing over this iphone. it just seems. so stupid u know. =x i had thought it was useless. hard to type messages n nO bluetooth. and. i heard thinlOck say the 3G cant use larhx. and so lehh. )): leo punye iPod sahaja so nice ady okaes. ^^

I AM SO GOING TO GEDDIT NO MATTER WWHAT.

damn yeng arhx. T.T i'd thought of getting d W380i de. but compared. iPhone is onli like rm200 more expensive den ddhe sony ericcsson. guess wht babe.

iPhone .$ 199. wtf. 16GB.

go http://www.apple.com uu'll never regret it. lol. seriously mahx.

diz is the very first time i finally love iPhone. wth.

u can dO anything u could impossibly think of on the iphone. its unbelievable. they've 15,000 applications at d moment.

what more could a man ask for? (:

``tong tong was heree. **

hearts.

11.59pm.

The very idea of not blogging what’s on my mind these few days stung me.hadnt been using the computer for quite a long time it seems like a relief being able to type it all out on this desktop now. There’s so mny tings going on for the past few weeks.



.The argument with dad. Mum. Yeah. Tht seems whatever now. But wtf. They are indeed. Doing a good job. (: I really nid to express now. Am salivating for iit. For once. Frankly. I don’t even know why I’m pissed at mum or why she’s pissed at me. It went well.for the two days after the thing with dad. It even felt weird calling dem ‘’mum. Dad’’ now. They’re like strangers. More to it.well. so as to say. tht day, ii asked mum a few times to bring me to d swimming complex cz i'd to talk to d coach. when we were one road next to d complex.. she went saying..'' very mafan leh..'' so i replied saying, ''so u actually wan bring me go anot de?'' her.'' go LAH GO LAH!! so LOVE TO GO!u never appreciae wht ii sacrificed for u de lah!'' and she started with all tht shyt.going on bout dad and all tht. so we''re not talking from den onn lahh. (and the very next day she's like. best friends with dad. wtf ryte.)

mm. so mai lidet lorh.almost 2weeks din talk to d two of dem liao. not tht it bothers me. but everynite they bring everyone out leaving me alll alone at home. its only like hours afta dey left tht ii come down to makann. wtf. depressing? nahh. dey'd think ii myself asked for it.

. for the past few months. me n taris hadnt been talking at all. F.Y.I. we' were like insepearable best friends. or so we used to be. and we used to talk on the phone for hours endlessly never running outta subject. and just suddenly. i dont know why. she dont know why. we stoppped calling or txting each other. and once when i asked her out she was all tht ''not interested. thankyou. Bye.'' so frm tht time on ii was all like. w.t.f. well. actually. ii was such a shyt friend too. because there's soo mny ppl's birthdays near and close on december i actually forgot when was her bday and didn wished her at all. until kev. txted me n was like.''haiyoo. taris told me u din wish her on her bday dei..'' okok. i know i suck at diz. =x but deng. ii'm sorry. really am. nyways.sent her a teddy bearr by pOst rightt b4 i went s'pore. hope she likes it. bout one month later. she txted saying thx.few weeks laterr. she called. l.o.l we were once like..to start the conver..''dei. u knw ah..blah blahhs'' now leh? ''hi''. ''ah.hi''. ''how're you?'' ''ii'm fine. u?'' ''ii'm fine too.''--pause--''so.how's life?'' it feels so weird toking to her now after all these while. dont know why. we've both moved on ii guess. how when we were young she used to ponder me bout ''can we still be friends when we grow up? can i still call u to talk?'' . ii was half of dumbstrucked tht time as so to say. we were little girls den. (: now? she's had her first kiss and she never told me. i had my first and never even thought of telling herr. we dont tell each other every single detail anymore. we dont even talk to each other like we used to anymore. lyk. u knw how when u met a stranger online and u call her and talk to her. like . u've never met her. thts how it is. weird. only when. we're in deep bigg shyt trouble thts only when we think of each other. how pathetic.
afta she called tht day. she sent a txt ltr tht saying --before i met you, ii didn have anything. no frens. no lyfe. no heeart to love(yeah i remembered how she went all..''aiyohh..started again lah you!'' when ii was telling her who's hawt n who's nawt.) no nuhthing. but when we started to be roomy's i loved it. you made me laugh like a crazy fool:d:d .(u did too. (:) you made me smile lyke a monkey.:) but when we seperated,i felt so vulnerable. cause u made me feel so good.but nowii'm alone again. i miss ya babe, lots:x:x.cant wait to see uu again. i made it for you. i miss ya tong. o much.''.
OucH.

.things in school for me arent tht perfect either. they're avoiding it. yes. ii know why. and .i know ii've said sorry a million times. fadilahh. its not tht ii'm avoiding you.): ii knowi suckk. its just tht. u n ii knw why. ii'm sorry. ii really wish we could be like how we were. ii missed uu. alOt. ii was such a jerk.

tongtong.
23rdjanuary.2009.
heartx uu.