11.59pm.

The very idea of not blogging what’s on my mind these few days stung me.hadnt been using the computer for quite a long time it seems like a relief being able to type it all out on this desktop now. There’s so mny tings going on for the past few weeks.



.The argument with dad. Mum. Yeah. Tht seems whatever now. But wtf. They are indeed. Doing a good job. (: I really nid to express now. Am salivating for iit. For once. Frankly. I don’t even know why I’m pissed at mum or why she’s pissed at me. It went well.for the two days after the thing with dad. It even felt weird calling dem ‘’mum. Dad’’ now. They’re like strangers. More to it.well. so as to say. tht day, ii asked mum a few times to bring me to d swimming complex cz i'd to talk to d coach. when we were one road next to d complex.. she went saying..'' very mafan leh..'' so i replied saying, ''so u actually wan bring me go anot de?'' her.'' go LAH GO LAH!! so LOVE TO GO!u never appreciae wht ii sacrificed for u de lah!'' and she started with all tht shyt.going on bout dad and all tht. so we''re not talking from den onn lahh. (and the very next day she's like. best friends with dad. wtf ryte.)

mm. so mai lidet lorh.almost 2weeks din talk to d two of dem liao. not tht it bothers me. but everynite they bring everyone out leaving me alll alone at home. its only like hours afta dey left tht ii come down to makann. wtf. depressing? nahh. dey'd think ii myself asked for it.

. for the past few months. me n taris hadnt been talking at all. F.Y.I. we' were like insepearable best friends. or so we used to be. and we used to talk on the phone for hours endlessly never running outta subject. and just suddenly. i dont know why. she dont know why. we stoppped calling or txting each other. and once when i asked her out she was all tht ''not interested. thankyou. Bye.'' so frm tht time on ii was all like. w.t.f. well. actually. ii was such a shyt friend too. because there's soo mny ppl's birthdays near and close on december i actually forgot when was her bday and didn wished her at all. until kev. txted me n was like.''haiyoo. taris told me u din wish her on her bday dei..'' okok. i know i suck at diz. =x but deng. ii'm sorry. really am. nyways.sent her a teddy bearr by pOst rightt b4 i went s'pore. hope she likes it. bout one month later. she txted saying thx.few weeks laterr. she called. l.o.l we were once like..to start the conver..''dei. u knw ah..blah blahhs'' now leh? ''hi''. ''ah.hi''. ''how're you?'' ''ii'm fine. u?'' ''ii'm fine too.''--pause--''so.how's life?'' it feels so weird toking to her now after all these while. dont know why. we've both moved on ii guess. how when we were young she used to ponder me bout ''can we still be friends when we grow up? can i still call u to talk?'' . ii was half of dumbstrucked tht time as so to say. we were little girls den. (: now? she's had her first kiss and she never told me. i had my first and never even thought of telling herr. we dont tell each other every single detail anymore. we dont even talk to each other like we used to anymore. lyk. u knw how when u met a stranger online and u call her and talk to her. like . u've never met her. thts how it is. weird. only when. we're in deep bigg shyt trouble thts only when we think of each other. how pathetic.
afta she called tht day. she sent a txt ltr tht saying --before i met you, ii didn have anything. no frens. no lyfe. no heeart to love(yeah i remembered how she went all..''aiyohh..started again lah you!'' when ii was telling her who's hawt n who's nawt.) no nuhthing. but when we started to be roomy's i loved it. you made me laugh like a crazy fool:d:d .(u did too. (:) you made me smile lyke a monkey.:) but when we seperated,i felt so vulnerable. cause u made me feel so good.but nowii'm alone again. i miss ya babe, lots:x:x.cant wait to see uu again. i made it for you. i miss ya tong. o much.''.
OucH.

.things in school for me arent tht perfect either. they're avoiding it. yes. ii know why. and .i know ii've said sorry a million times. fadilahh. its not tht ii'm avoiding you.): ii knowi suckk. its just tht. u n ii knw why. ii'm sorry. ii really wish we could be like how we were. ii missed uu. alOt. ii was such a jerk.

tongtong.
23rdjanuary.2009.
heartx uu.