the.latepost.

sisters. =S

there's so much to talk about.and yet so little time.working my ass off.

-macc.

-txt.post. =x

-kicked outta class post.

-peer press.

boiis.over flowerrs.

p a n a s r i g h t? :D

will blog bout it laterr.

chocolateS.d ultimate life saviour.

jz when i thought everyone is different. someone made me realise everyone's jz the same.
every guys are d same.
who aint?
fukoff. (:
and i frigging trusted u.
i'll never do anymore.
even if we're friends again. thts which will be next twenty frigging years.
yes i'm mad at u.
and yes i pity HER. u know who.
and yes. i've never thought of blogging such post to go against u cz i've used to thought u were really goood.
and yes. now tht i've totally thought wrong.
i'm going to shun frm u.
you.are.currently.deleted.

/.

tari n maccc.

i SO need to talk to u guys.

SOS.

immedeatly when u see this. ):

something SO unexpected came up yesterday.

bwahhs.

matii. i'm burning. seriously.

(:!

dancing queen!

sometimes its better to keep my mouth shut. sometimes.

its been a long time since i last blogged.
and yet so many has happened.
its been hectic. i felt like breaking down.sometimes i'd just appear calm and tht nothing's wrong..but sometimes i'd just be rude to everyone and blow it off.and later, i feel bad.
i'm tired.of everything.i'm tired of trying to make people happy.when i myself isnt even at all.
not saying the people around me dont make me laugh la.they do. (:
i was especially mad at someone yesterdayy..wasnt really in the mood actually.and then tht someone reminded me of someone. (which was.very stupid.i mean.i'm stupidd.=x)and i was asking him to get something and he wudnt.i got mad and i shouted at him.kinda accused. and he got pissed. who's more pissed now?
i get pissed off inside very easy now. cant figure out why. i'm at time appearing so calm.especially at home. it freaks me out a lil'.
one of the dog ran away and mum was telling us,all of my siblinggs went ''HAHH!!?!!WHEN!!!??!!'' and i just ''mm.''and nodded.
i get frustrated with myself its intruiging. (=
i shrugged someone(i <3)>
i laugh when i'm sad. i sulk when i'm happy. whaddafark's wrong with me?
i do what i dont mean to do. like shrugging people off. being angry at other for no freaking reasons.
and when people really piss me off. like. dad who spoilt our plans. like when some guy suddenly acussed me tdy. i just laughed. i'm daft. seriously.
gotta get a life.asap. (;

its like d world has gone upside down.

the 20s. list.

20 things we never new bout' deaths.
woah?
1. The practice of burying the dead may date back 350,000 years, as evidenced by a 45-foot-deep pit in Atapuerca, Spain, filled with the fossils of 27 hominids of the species Homo heidelbergensis, a possible ancestor of Neanderthals and modern humans.

2. There are at least 200 euphemisms for death, including "to be in Abraham's bosom," "just add maggots" and "sleep with the Tribbles" (a "Star Trek" favorite).

3. No American has died of old age since 1951.
4. That was the year the government eliminated that classification on death certificates.

5. The trigger of death, in all cases, is lack of oxygen. Its decline may prompt muscle spasms, or the "agonal phase," from the Greek word "agon," meaning "contest."

6. Within three days of death, the enzymes that once digested your dinner begin to eat you. Ruptured cells become food for living bacteria in the gut, which release enough noxious gas to bloat the body and force the eyes to bulge outward.

7. So much for recycling: Burials in America deposit 827,060 gallons of embalming fluid -- formaldehyde, methanol and ethanol -- into the soil each year. Cremation pumps dioxins, hydrochloric acid, sulfur dioxide and carbon dioxide into the air.

8. Alternatively, a Swedish company, Promessa, will freeze-dry your body in liquid nitrogen, pulverize it with high-frequency vibrations and seal the resulting powder in a cornstarch coffin. They claim this "ecological burial" will decompose in six to 12 months.

9. Zoroastrians in India leave out the bodies of the dead to be consumed by vultures.

10. The vultures are now dying off after eating cattle carcasses dosed with diclofenac, an anti-inflammatory used to relieve fever in livestock.

11. Queen Victoria insisted on being buried with the bathrobe of her long-dead husband, Prince Albert, and a plaster cast of his hand.

12. If this doesn't work, we're trying in vitro! In Madagascar, families dig up the bones of dead relatives and parade them around the village in a ceremony called "famadihana." The remains are then wrapped in a new shroud and reburied. The old shroud is given to a newly married, childless couple to cover the connubial bed.

13. Sometimes, under the right conditions of temperature and humidity, fatty tissue of a buried body will turn to a soap-like substance called adipocere, or grave wax. Adipocere formation relies on a cold, damp environment and an absence of oxygen; once begun, this saponification can continue for centuries.

14. Well, yeah, there's a slight chance this could backfire: English philosopher Francis Bacon, a founder of the scientific method, died in 1626 of pneumonia after stuffing a chicken with snow to see if cold would preserve it.

15. For organs to form during embryonic development, some cells must commit suicide. Without such programmed cell death, we would all be born with webbed feet, like ducks.

16. In 1907, a Massachusetts doctor conducted an experiment with a specially designed deathbed and reported that the human body lost 21 grams upon dying. This has been widely held as fact ever since. It's not.

17. Buried alive: In 19th-century Europe there was so much anecdotal evidence that living people were mistakenly declared dead that cadavers were laid out in "hospitals for the dead" while attendants awaited signs of putrefaction.

18. Eighty percent of people in the United States die in a hospital.

19. More people commit suicide in New York City than are murdered.

20. It is estimated that 100 billion people have died since humans began.

latest obsessiOn.? :P

introducing new hottie. onethatscreams H.A.W.T.N.E.S.S. one tht no girls could resist.
yess. the american chinese blooded hottie. the international award winning top model hottie.

worldwide hearthrobe.
introudcing. wangleehom.*squeals*

listen.

listen carefully.

take ur time.

that is life.

u never get to listen to it twice in a lifetime.

to the heartbeat of our souls.

xintiaO.

heartbeat.

his latest song.

wangleehom's concert.

saddest thing in my histOry.

tongtong gonna miss it.

lOl.?

I LOVE WANG LEE HOM.

o.m.g.

ten ten ten tenn..!

yes. thts wwhat. i'm fuming mad right nOw.

fuming.with anger.

its not like i dont give in.

its not like i hadnt tried.

its not like i spend my time in front of the couch watching telly.

in fatc, i dont even watch.

its not like i spend my time going out everyday before d exams.

other than going for revision classes.

and thts what i got for all d fuss.

why even bother?

i frigging tried. i fuCking tried.

ookay. i'm not those kind tht swear.but.u know the feeling when u tried sO damn damn damn hard. gave all you can in,while seeing others actually watching telly infront of d couch so comfortably and ur miles away. S.T.U.D.Y.I.N.G.and that person who watched the telly. got better marks than you.how the heck wud u really feel?

ookay.anyways.i felt like giving up.what's the point?i never failed any subjects (except accounting)when i first came.now its like i'm failing everything altogether.maybe old nathan might be right. i'm spending too much time on that.i've took the wrong way.

no.not d shortcut i'm talking aboutt.

its d way.where you choose to have fun(apparently.wait till it turns d other way round)and choosing

something tht again,apparently,u know will not go into ur future.

whaddafark is wrong with me.

i think i nid a break.

kit kat breakk.

bwahhs.

no one to blame.

only me.me.me.and myself.

i felt so hurt when KEVIN MAC(AND IF UR READING THIS.yeah. this is d first time u said sumthing tht hurt me).

ookay. when i asked u if SHE was smart u were like. ''i'm in a nerd class la.wad u think?''

i felt so insulted. sOrry.no offence.still friends okae. (=

i felt tht pang in my head like.

nobody likes girls from dumb classes.u gotta be smart thats all it takes.i know thts not wht u really mean mac. but.i dunoo.i felt offended.

and when i dont do well in studies.everything goes down.

i feel guilty online-ing. i feel guilty talking on d phone. i feel guilty txting.

i feel guilty eating desserts.i feel guilty spending money.

on books.on clothes. things i love the most.

whaddafark

totally losing myself.

sorry to those who just have to suffer with me.

OKAYY. to summarise it.

its frigging embarassing already.

i got 3 tenS.

and a few people. in fact.

got three 100s.

its just a ''0'' difference.

and someone is fcking rude its making me fume again.

i feel like the stupiedest person in the world.

i'm upset alrite. freaking am.

i got like. 26 for history. i really.honestly.expected i could actually pass history.

its my fave. subject. i liked d oldNathan and nothing's wrong with memorising all d old ancient stuffs. blah.

i wrote like 2 pages on d biography on anne frank and another two pages for some old anciet guy i'm actually supposed to know.

the answers alone were five pages already. i'd thought my hand almost came out while writting it.

i enjoy reading the facts.

but wth. 26 marks?!

oldNathan went like..''aiyaa..maybe i mark wrong..shud give u 62''.

yess old man. indeed. ):

anyways. i got ten ten ten ten..! bwah. suprisee!

i got 10/100. for accounting. i got 10/100 for math. i got 10/100. for Commerce.

i am upset okae. really. am.for the first time.==

i am ggOing insane.

like. totally.

i'm going through a phase of heart changing.

its confusing.

i wan o-u-t.

i'm nOt.

going to give up.

i'm nOt.

i'd thought i WANT and really WANT to giveup when i was first blogging diz post.

after much thought. after the supports i get frm diz few amazingly adoring people.

a changed of heart came up. (:

i'll start it all over again.

Nothing is impossible.

gosh. i felt like crying over my failure.

leaving part of ur life behind?

this is it.

running?.

5 girls went jogging today attempting to keep FiT!natasha.shereen.lyann.tongtong.huahua. are their names. it was after a rainy day.little did they know tht, the floor was really slippery.sO.tongtong was showing u gotta run downhill.for larger steps. AND. this is what happens.

congratulations. ==

was attempting for tht 5km run.i think we sort of did it.coz.we got lost halfway.finding for the exit was d hardest part.and it started raining heavily. so. u know the rest lah...

when we were runningg.. there were cars and bikes nearby.a motorcycle came and shouted at us.. ''WOII WOII. AMOI LARI AH! KEEP FIT AH!" wth. the other one was a car. i was running first. heads came out frm d car and bawhh.no suprise.rempits. they were shouting.. ''WO AI NI !NI AI WO! WAHHH!!!"(i love you You love me WAHH) and we ran and laughed. == wth.we came home all wet and cam whored. =x

we made natasha's dad let us sit in his car booth.he's drives a Ford. we had SO much fun! :P was laughing lyk hell.

so,at the back of his car, he drove us home. sure enough, it's still raining and people are staring. :@

THE END. (:

lately.

saturdayy.
we went pasarrmalam(okay damn cheaplAkk i understand.)i love it just because u see lots of different kinds of people there.geeks.punks.lala.apek ah mah.interesting.blek.
and i bought diz shorts fOr 15.reen wanted to buy another one so we were like..''aiyah..uncle..give cheaperr abit lorh..jz now bought one ady mah..'' uncle said. : kenot lah..ady very cheap(as usual)i wan give oso kenot give loh...'' me: aiya. RM 14.90. can mOu? uncle:hahahahaha
in the end.we had to pay RM15 also. waste my time.pfft==

we saw ''gugu'' and lyann wanted durians la.so we were choosing and my aunt was asking..''ini cantil tak?? itu cantik tak???'' i pointed at another pack and asked the pakcik..''ini cantik ah?'' uncle said. '' kepala u paling cantikk.'' and smiled. i stared at him giving the ''ape u toking laH?''.when we were about to go..the man called..''amoi amoii..byebye!" wth. veryfarniedurianseller.

bought d BrideWars dvd. =D d four of us watched till 11.
talking bout sisterhood?
bwahh.

love your enemies.

ohh and indeed, i've had a long day.

i felt like.i'm part of them. (: and it feels good.

i've stood outside under the burning hot sun alone for half an hour.i now stand out with the heavy rains and thunderstorms bellowing.screaming.

i i felt for once, so cleansed. i felt so happy. (:

went to church today.after service,i turned around looking for sisterMinah. and. tragically,saw someone i shouldnt.

dad's sis? and she was smiling at me. my heart skipped. turned to AuntyGuatKim and said. OhmYgosh.

i've learned alOt today. and i'm loving every second of it so much.

love ur enemies.how many of u can do tht? its more than impossible.

would you forgive someone tht killed ur dad?mum?u?

nOway. think twice. (:

love one another as God has loved you.

forgive one another as He has forgive you.

be perfect.as He.is perfect.

i've never felt so much better.

i love music.

i love music.

yes i know.

i love musicc.

zOmg.

tongtong<3.

ilovelovelovelovelove my freaking life

the footprint u left will always be there but mostly,what will be left is dust.

we dont even talk like we used to and seemingly. u know.(=

but thanks anyway. sO muchies!.

i fell in love with the scents and d sOngs.

they are just there everywhere i go its magical

something i couldnt describe in words. its shO sweet i could taste it.

tongtong lOve.S

falling out. (:

bringing you into my life had been interesting
making u out now has has been quite difficult
but i'm learning everyday.

jiatongmadeituntitled. [:

i woke up diz morning realizing my friends cared about me so much.

so much mOre den i'll ever know.

so so much more than i've ever knOwN.

thanks guys. ;)

u peeps made my life.

kissy!

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/last_tuesday/empty.html

i somehow fell in love with the lyrics today.
its NO bigg deal.
WAKEUP!
mwahhs!
loving myself more and more.

mR.click5.kinds of understand.

Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much
I wanna fill this new frame
But it's empty

Tried to write a letter
In ink
It's been getting better
I think

I got a piece of paper
But it's empty
It's empty
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I even wonder
If weShould be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But it's emptyIt's empty
Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apar
tMaybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

( k o s o n g )

i feel empty.



right now.

introducing....

updates.
i gotto find out bOut.
ll QueenEleanor ll
ll first crusade. Second crusade ll
ll King Henry ii.ii.iii.iv.v.vi.vii.viii.viii. blah blah blah ll
ll triangles. ll
ll properties circles ll
=.=
ll functions and graphs. ll yes i totally forgot.
ll whole of maths txtbook 3A.3B. ll zomg.
ll metal ll pft?
ll i dont know.just.anything to do with the school science textbook whichih i dont even own one ll.
ll Najib is d new prime minister nOw and i dont even know till a few days later. ll ohkay.
ll this something to do with d chemistry eqaution ll blahh.
ll i nid those form2's txtbooks.! backup. (: ll

ookayy. i'll be a good girl from now on.
likewise.
hah.

my mission from 10.50pm onwards.

i get easily annoyed when i think i'm dumb.maybe i just am comparative.she's smart.and i'm not.she gets it.and i dont.there's nothing i go against with looks.cz we're just born like that.nothing changes it.
but brains?
we are what we made ourselves.
like.u used diz kinda material to make some shoe.u put in effort and used d best material and it turns out to be Nike.auction bidding from rm400.
and thus.u use another kind of material intending to make more profit than anything,using the cheapest material and not putting in any hardwork with handiwork.it turns to to be pasarmalam shoes.LELONG RM10 for 2!

what's really on my mind is now that why i'm not as smart as other people. i think i'm a chapter slower.i dont get things in a click!i'm the kind who only understands the maths equation hours later tht was on the board hours ago. i actually nid hours to understand some stupid stuff. i'm that dumb. there's so many things i dont know.and am SO eager to know in other words.i just cant wait for all these knowledge to get into my empty brain. yess.i'mintendingtobeanerdnow.
its a wonder how these people could write 15pages of answers and i could only write 4.it bugs me alot. what do they've to write. yess.we've the same question paper.only their answers is 15pages and mine is 4. how far compared is that?
and i hate the fact of being looked down by people. they say i'm like my dad. only he works hard for it.and i think i'm not working at all.
u know the disdain look. it bugs me i cant sleep well sometimes. this one week holiday and i'm spending almost everyday in d shopping complex windOw shopping.like it'll do me any good. u bet. monday=pavillion.tuesday=klcc.wednesday=timesSquare.pavillion.thursday=midvalley.
i feel really guilty now. so friday is my study day. (:
i really admire these girls in my school who're smarties and feel good bout themselves. =[
i wanna be one of em'.
those who feel so good bout themselves and dey get loudd.?with nothing but a peanut?
they make me laugh.
i dont wanna look in d mirror and see myself as them.
i want a change.
like.finally.
i'll try.): i just have to pass accounting.i never did.and math. waththehell. i couldnt even get an 80 for english nOw. i'm loving history.but what's with the 15pages answers? i think i've a very low memory.maybe i was born when d hardDisk in heaven is out of stock.
i always tell myself i'll study i''l studyy. but something surely comes out when u know.like. i always get the excuses. i dont know why. they just come up with a click!and i tend to completely forget i just havehavehavehave to studyy!=<
imustlovestudyingnow.
because this will be a mission from 10.50pm onwards. :D

tongtong was here!``
mwahhs.
<3333>

M.A.C. ooh. mac.

k.e.v.i.n ..blog* mac-indescribablelife.blogspot.com says:
love is a gr8 feeling.!
wad u tink abt her la??
Cso‧ωнат?❥i ｡sø ｡ ℓovε ｡ м¥ ｡ εғғiиg ｡ ℓi ғз ]❥__ змo-gεεк ▎▎•вℓiик•вℓiик• ▎✖ғuск.уou.вiтсн ☠sø.iи.❤.ωiтн. mii3✖ says:
ithinkshesnice.

k.e.v.i.n ..blog* mac-indescribablelife.blogspot.com says:
im not nice?
fine.
Cso‧ωнат?❥i ｡sø ｡ ℓovε ｡ м¥ ｡ εғғiиg ｡ ℓi ғз ]❥__ змo-gεεк ▎▎•вℓiик•вℓiик• ▎✖ғuск.уou.вiтсн ☠sø.iи.❤.ωiтн. mii3✖ says:
i never said ur not nice
peraSHan.
k.e.v.i.n ..blog* mac-indescribablelife.blogspot.com says:
i know.im ugly.fatty.n stuff.
Cso‧ωнат?❥i ｡sø ｡ ℓovε ｡ м¥ ｡ εғғiиg ｡ ℓi ғз ]❥__ змo-gεεк ▎▎•вℓiик•вℓiик• ▎✖ғuск.уou.вiтсн ☠sø.iи.❤.ωiтн. mii3✖ says:
HEY!
i said shes nice. so tht u'll be happie!
and ur saying ur not nice.
apelah
k.e.v.i.n ..blog* mac-indescribablelife.blogspot.com says:
fine.
ur sayin shes nice jz to make me hapi?
_________________________________________________________________________________
and diz is wht happened. i cant believe my long-known-friend is finally in love!mac no offence kae. (: ifeelsohappyiwannacry. okayyokayy.lets not exaggerate. nyways. good for you!blehhs. :P

hooligans.intrigued.

hooligans.
intrigued.

ahh. just the two words tht has been on my mind for the whole day.
dont ask me why.it was just like tht.

bytheways.

bytheways.
another week. i'll have to wait.
we've had it for a month. and now A week. i'll stick to it. (=
we're getting closer and its like suddenly. we're apart again. we dont really talk like we used to. i wanted to call to say goodbye.but its too late i guess.
it dissapoint me a lil' tht u hadnt bothered to.
anyways.
all i want is yOu to be happy. =)
i know i hadnt put in much effort doing that. iwasuseless.
i hope things would be back to normal. =x
i'll work for it. !

imissyoukevin.
beBckSoon yahh.

mOmmy.come back safely.

its been awhile

i cant bring to stop the tears

its frozen now.

the heart aches. there's nothing i could do to stop it.

maybe i'm not used to it.

so much has happened.

mommy come back please.

before she left we had the worst argument this year. and i said things i shouldnt. i've said it. there's no way i could take it back now though its exactly what i would want to do if i were given the chance.

u said i always say things to hurt people.

i'm actually hurt inside myself. maybe this is my way of expressing. i didn't know how to express properly i guess.

all the weeks before u went wasnt exactly nice either.

we fought almost every week now. i find it so hard to talk to you. its like u wouldnt listen. and u shooed me away when i came n talk to u when dad is around.i know he hates me. its alrite. u told me i'm a good girl and u hugged me when u left. after all these years. i could remember its the first. i saw jangjang writting in his diary today..even though its in chinese. i could make out a few words. he said something like..''mummy went outstation today..she gave me rm100 and i used it to buy my toys.mummy told me tht if she left and never come bck.if she dies. this will be my last toy. i hugged her and cried.'' tears well down when i read it. he's only 11. although i always fight with him.i always knew he's actually really soft inside.

i didnt like being at home alone. but what could i do? taking care of the three of them is so not an easy job. but it taught me alot. and is teaching me even now.

i'll endure.

never have i realised how much u suffered. how heavy ur burden is.

i always wanted to go against you.

remember that time i wanted to buy something frm Watson's and said its really important? and u said everything is important to me wan la.. and i shot back by saying that ur the not important at all one.

i actually really meant the opposite. but i guess u wont know. but anyhow,i hope u do.

i wish u were right here now asking me to sleep early and not play the computer till late night. but u wont be.

mOmmy. come back faster.

i scowled.i screamed.i swore.

i even said i wished u wud not come back.

i was frustrated. really am.

before u left and when i was muttering. ''have a good time..'' u went saying u wanted me to be perfect. u wanted me to study perfectly.before tht u said i wasnt studying. u said i was lazy.but i shouted back saying i had tried my best.i really had.but i know i flunked.i just couldnt do it.good scores are never me i guess. i am sorry i didn do well and dissapoint u. and dad. u 'd said i wasnt practicing violin. u'd said i didnt have manners. u said my attitude sucked.

everything u said hurt right to the core. i've been trying so hard.

tears are falling as i'm typing this.

i've thought u oways treated me as a big girl.even when i was four u never asked bout my homework. thats one thing u never did till today.i've done all my homeworks all these years without ur help.

jangjang is 11 now n u still helped him with his homework everyday. its strange.its not tht i'm saying u never took care of me. its just.in a different way. u taught me to grow up. and i guess i'm d most independant one among us four.

when u left the four of us were in the room. and the three of them were talking to each other bout what would they do if i werent here to take care of em'.they said the same thing when i was at their age and u went overseas.i'll always and forever be the elder one. i understand.

u said u understand me.and i said HeCk nO!and if u do,i had said,i'd give u 500bucks.u said 5things tht were true. things tht i never expect u to understand. but it was all so true. u know me more than myself.

the people i hurt the most are the people i love the most.

i wanted to socialise. i wanted people to accept me.

i love my sister.and brothers. thats one thing i'll never admit.

remember all the times we go out together as a family and dad never even talked to me? he wouldnt even looked at me twice.all he did was glare at me. and they hurt. and u'd be avoiding me.

i was sick and i woke up late last weekend. u guys scorned.

ii missed talking to u like we did mommy. how i'd spend hours in ur room and we'd talk about everything in d world.

it scares me why u handed me so much money in cash before u left..

Mummy...come back please.

updates.

omgg.! yes yes. ur sO required to tell me its c.u.t.e.

impossible to resist. arent they? (:

currently.

i get frustrated very easily nOw.
what's in my mind is that everything's wrong.
exams.waddahell. i flunked. everythin.
even arts. what i hadnt expect.
i tried so hard. i tried. i did.

one thing i hate the most.
do i have to remind myself?
i dont really hate anything basically.
i dont have thieves. i dont hate backstabbers. idonthatebitches.
well. not as much as i hate.

LiARS.
idont know why. i just cant stand it.
lies. simple lies. white lies. dark lies.
any lies.
i never really get why people have to lie.
i never liked lying. even though i know the truth hurts.
even though i know you wouldnt like knowing the truth. wudn like listening to it.
how wud u feel if u figured out the truth out of the lie?
does it feel better?
heck nO.
i bet u'd feel really badd u get lied to.
its a stupid thing to do.
i couldnt figure out till nOw why human beings have to lie.
its so childish. yet sO.
after d lies.afer a minute. u'd say.. ''hah!it was a joke! i was just kidding! cant u take a jokee!?? OMG!''.
i wud be thinking. well. yess. i bet u think its funny.
its not tht i hate it.
its not tht i hate jokes. i'm really OKAY with it. in fact. i liked it when u joke. (= but not about something serious please.
i jz hate the feeling of being LIED.

imagineifitsyou.

``tongtong was here!(:
8pm.